Life can be very challenging when you're a new mother. There's so much to think about, so much to get done, and such a needy little person who wants all of your attention! How can you balance everything? The key is to have realistic expectations, take care of your own needs, and establish a base plan of what must be done.
How Much to Expect?
You hear stories of women who have a baby and are right back in the fields working, or moms who have their baby and go grocery shopping and start cooking gourmet meals the next day, know that these situations are not normal. In fact, they're probably not even desirable! There's no need to be a "super-mom" after your baby is born.
The postpartum period is a time to love your baby and get to know him or her. It's not a time to show the world you can go on as if you hadn't just had a baby. Take the time to enjoy your new baby. You're also recovering from birth. Give yourself a few weeks to really just relax. Baby care should be your main priority. Keep up with your baby's needs and let other things that can slide fall to the side for a period of time.
Take Care of Your Needs
Though you should take it easy and not expect too much of yourself, don't give up and stop caring for yourself. It's essential to your own well-being that you take care of yourself while you take care of your child. You may not be making day trips to the spa or spending a couple of hours at the gym every night, but that's okay.
If a morning shower helps you to feel refreshed and ready for the day, that's what you need to do every morning! Put the baby in her swing or bouncy seat and take your shower. If you feel a lot better after you've had a morning snack, make the time to have that snack.
A lot of new moms tend to skip things like meals, showers, and even getting dressed. They're exhausted and these things may take more energy. But it's almost always worth the effort to stick to a regular routine of getting ready for the day - and to keep up with your meals. You'll feel clean and refreshed, ready to run a quick errand or answer the door, and you will have the energy to keep up with a demanding infant. Eating regular meals also keeps your milk supply high.
Make a Plan
Once the early weeks are over you're going to want to see life get more "normal" again. You can make this happen by establishing a base plan. What do you feel needs to be accomplished during the day? What are your plans for housekeeping, cooking, caring for older children, and working (at home or out of the home)? Decide what your expectations for each day are. When my baby was a few weeks old I knew that I wanted to keep the house reasonably neat and I wanted to have time to write every day. I also wanted to be spending some time reading to my older children every day.
The key to making these things happen is to have a plan. Plan a thirty minute period of house cleaning every day. You can work with your baby in a carrier. It will go a long way to helping you feel like you're keeping up with things.
Keep a basket of toys and books nearby for your toddler, or activities your older child can do near you. This helps you feel connected and in-tune with them while you care for your baby.
If your baby naps you can either choose to take a nap with them or you can schedule some work during this time -- I found time to write in the early morning after I'd nursed my baby back to sleep from an early feed (and before my older children get up). A plan and regular routine can really help.
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